Things You May Overhear During a Game of Sonic Spinball with Kathy and Rach

Last weekend I bought a Sega Genesis, complete with Sonic Spinball. And then Kathy and I ate Po' Boys and had a Spinball playoff. It sounded like a deranged, vaguely pornographic Tourette's convention came to town. It was awesome. And because I believe sharing is caring, here are the evening's best quotes, compiled for your reading pleasure.

The following quotes are real. The names have been changed to protect the innocent (NB: there is no innocent; no names have actually been changed).

• "Where's my sh*tf*cksgiving?!"
 
• "No. Nonono! You get in there! You. Get. Up. In. There. Good boy!"
   
• "Bahnurrrt. I like when it sounds like a fart."
   
• "Noooo you dumb*ss, get out of his mouth!!"
   
• "I'll bag your worm, baby."
 

• "Come on b*tch, come onnn b*tch! Oh, thank you."
   
• "Loooooooop de forrrrce!"
   
• "Arggghh. Why do you gotta make it all long and drawn out and I gotta thrust into his mouth til I'm dead?!"
 

• "Sh*tter!"
   
• Sang: "F*ckkkk my f*ckkkking liiiiiife!"
   
• "Sploooooge! Nooooooo!"
   
• "You're supposed to go in the hole!"
   
• Sang (to the tune of It Must Have Been Love): "I don't wannna be herrrre, especially not with that dude's mouuuuthhh."
   
• "Now I got two mother effin' birds!"
   
• "How 'bout a ride?! Wtf?! Are you hitting on me?!"
   
• "This level is a terrible thing of....terrible-ness. "
   
• "Gahhh...ahhh...ahhh. Oh! I got out of his mouth! Oh yes!"
   
• "Turn. Turn you stupid whore!"
   
• "Nice heaving. Now actually do something!"
   
• "Domo arigato, *sshole!"